Rosemary’s Babe: Our Top 5 Horror Hotties

In order to keep up the gender balance, we’ve dedicated this week’s post to lining up the top 5 hottest women in horror. From the scream queens to the kickass heroines, the horror genre has more babes then you could shake a machete at. Whether they’re running from chainsaw-wielding maniacs or setting zombies ablaze, they somehow manage to look damn fine while fighting for their lives. So we’d like to pay tribute to those beauties who take on the beast and make survival look sexy.

  1. Manuela Velasco, REC, REC 2 and REC 4: Apocalypse

Manuela Velasco Díez is the sultry, Spanish senorita who first skyrocketed to fame with her horror debut as television presenter Ángela Vidal in the zombie (?) film REC. Her performance earned her a Goya Award for Best New Actress and cemented her status as smoking hot survivor. Not only that, but this found footage horror garnered great success as a fresh approach to the somewhat hackneyed zombie subgenre, earning it three sequels and a relatively horrific (incredibly horrific) American remake known as Quarantine.

But, as with many remakes, Quarantine simply wasn’t as good as REC and, still more tragically, Jennifer Carpenter just couldn’t match up to the endearing vulnerability of Velasco. Spanish truly is the language of passion, and Velasco’s smouldering stare could stop the hungriest zombie in its tracks.

  1. Jamie Lee Curtis, Halloween, Halloween II, Halloween H20: 20 Years Later, and Halloween: Resurrection

When your mother happens to be Janet Leigh, whose one woeful night in the Bates Motel is now ingrained in the psyche of many traumatised 60s kids, you’ve got some pretty big horror boots to fill. And fill them Jamie Lee Curtis did as Laurie Stode in the infamous slasher flick Halloween. Overnight this unassuming beauty evolved from onscreen extra into teenage horror dream and world-renowned scream queen, starring in subsequent horror films such as The FogProm NightTerror Train, and Roadgames.

Unfortunately this flirtation with horror would be relatively short-lived, as she soon smoothly and successfully made a firm transition towards the comedy genre with her role as Ophelia in Trading Places. Yet horror junkies will still remember her as that bushy-haired blonde with the longing, wistful stare, killer smile, and legs that won’t quit, especially when being chased by a psycho in a William Shatner mask. We’d like to get Freaky with her on Friday, or any given day of the week for that matter.

  1. Jessica Lange, all four seasons of American Horror Story

Up until the 21st century, Jessica Lange’s brief affair with horror had begun and ended solely with her portrayal of the dashing (albeit oddly named) dame Dwan in the 1976 remake of King Kong. Yet 2011 saw her suddenly and violently renounce her stereotypical image as the damsel in distress as she took on the role of the darkly calculating Constance Langdon in American Horror Story: Murder House. From laxative filled cupcakes to out-and-out murder, Lange’s portrayal of this scheming ex-Stepford Wife shed her good girl image faster than you can say “explosive buttercream diarrhoea”.

Since then she’s scared us sacred as the fearsomely strict Sister Jude Martin, bewitched us as the Coven Supreme Fiona Goode, and proved just how freaky she can be as circus owner Elsa Mars. With her icy stare, commanding tone, and perfectly coiffed blonde locks, she’s a villain that’s far easier on the eyes than she is on her victims. Her perfect blend of femme fatale elegance and dominatrix kinkiness will be sorely missed in American Horror Story: Hotel, but here’s hoping there’ll be a saucy cameo thrown in to give us our Lange fix.

  1. Milla Jovovich, Resident Evil, Resident Evil: Apocalypse, Resident Evil: Extinction, Resident Evil: Afterlife, and Resident Evil: Retribution

Milla Jovovich is arguably the only redeeming feature of the Resident Evil movie franchise, but what a redeeming feature she is. After all, when your second film is called “Apocalypse” and your third is called “Extinction” yet you still manage to squeak a fourth, fifth, and sixth instalment out of the post-apocalyptic world and supposedly extinct human race, you’re not doing a great job with the whole film continuity thing, to put it lightly. Here’s hoping that Resident Evil: The Final Chapter isn’t a complete misnomer. That being said, if there’s more Jovovich on the cards, we’ll probably still be watching.

In her debut as Alice, the bedazzling private security operative with the saucy red dress and infuriating lack of connection to the original video game series, she showed that she could be as badass as the ensuing sequels would be terrible. From her plump pout to her bondage-inspired outfits, she’s living proof that every apocalypse deserves at least one smoking hot model to lighten the mood. No wonder all those zombies keep chasing after her with their tongues hanging out.

  1. Sigourney Weaver, Alien, Aliens, Alien 3 and Alien: Resurrection

Winning combinations come in all shapes and sizes, from peanut butter and jelly to tight white underwear and horrifying monsters with acid for blood. In fact, Sigourney Weaver was largely praised for challenging expected gender roles in her portrayal of the quietly powerful heroine Ellen Ripley in the 1979 film Alien. After all, this savvy warrant officer comes head-to-head with one of the most dentally challenged creatures on earth, a terrifying, two-mouthed alien known as a xenomorph, and still manages to keep her cool.

Since attempting to reason with it clearly wasn’t the answer (imagine trying to talk with two mouths), Ripley proceeds to dispatch the beast in nothing but a white vest and what appears to be either a pair of undies or perhaps just a large handkerchief. Because it would be undeniably less exciting had she done it in a puffer jacket. With her big brown eyes, perfectly chiselled jaw, and palpable onscreen presence, Weaver was an instant hit with both the gentlemen and the ladies. God forbid there’s anyone out there who wouldn’t trade places with Charles Dance but, if there is, they’d certainly change their minds after watching Alien 3.

So, what did you think of our list? Which horror hotties do you think we’ve missed out? And don’t forget to check out our top 5 list of horror hunks!

Rosemary’s Babe: Our Top 5 Horror Hotties

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s