Horror is not a genre synonymous with beauty, nor is it terribly well-known for its powers of arousal, yet every so often the horror community is blessed with the odd horror hunk; a piece of man-candy so tasty that it makes the bitter pill of terror just that bit easier to swallow. From the knife-wielding psychopaths to the goofy heroes, horror is full of characters that interest us, excite us, and ultimately endear themselves to us. And a tight six-pack here or there doesn’t hurt either. In light of all this, we’ve decided to count down our top 5 hunks in horror. For the record, sexy though Alexander Skarsgård may be, we won’t be acknowledging Vampire Diaries or True Blood as horror titles because they’re just terrible. Just terrible.
- Mads Mikkelson, Hannibal the TV series
Mads Mikkelson has recently managed to melt butter onto our freshly roasted hearts with his portrayal of the titular character in the Hannibal TV series. With his stately slim physique, crisp Danish accent, and cold, calculating charm, he’s undeniably one of the sexiest cannibals we’ve ever come across. After all, who wouldn’t want a man who could whip up a delicious soufflé or a mouth-watering steak and human kidney pie at the drop of a hat?
In a bizarre twist, Mikkelson originally trained as a gymnast and even went to a ballet academy in Gothenburg to pursue a career in athletics before finally settling for the far more mundane and accessible world of acting in 1996. Since then he’s wowed audiences with his icy stare, cool demeanour, and sleek performances as that villain we all love to fantasise about. When it comes to Mads Mikkelsen, no matter what’s on the menu, we’re sure it’ll be tasty.
- Patrick Wilson, Insidious, Insidious 2, and The Conjuring
Patrick Wilson is probably one of the only men on earth who can look hot in a knitted sweater, and that’s pretty impressive in of itself. After all, when you’re wading through a nightmarish world called The Other or exorcising demons from the body of a country housewife, you probably don’t have enough time to keep up with the latest fashion trends. So what if he gets a little sweaty when faced with a few spooks or the thought of Ellen Page with a pair of scissors (obscure Hard Candy reference), he still looks damn fine while doing it.
This All American heartthrob began his career in Broadway, earning two Tony Award nominations for his roles in The Full Monty (2000–2001) and Oklahoma! (2002). Alright, so singing and dancing is perhaps not the most obvious segue into the horror genre, but we’ll forgive him for the unconventional approach because he has the face of a puppy and the eyes of an even cuter puppy. We’ll happily let him snuggle up to us in his cosy knits and sing us to sleep, especially if a repeat performance of The Full Monty is on the cards.
- Evan Peters, all four series of American Horror Story
Evan Peters endeared us as the psychopathic teenager Tate Langdon, proved he was perfect husband material as Kit Walker, and showed us just what his chunky crab hands can do as Jimmy Darling. Wait a second, crab hands? Okay, so the costume designers at American Horror Story may not always favour our dimpled cutie, but he’s managed to claw his way up to our third spot nonetheless.
Peters’ big break came when he took on the role of Dave Lizewski’s nerdy best friend Todd Haynes in the painfully awesome superhero film Kickass. He was gawky; he was awkward; in short, he was hardly the kind of guy who inspires visions of white horses, tall towers, and knights in shining armour. But his debut in American Horror Story: Murder House as the deeply troubled, brooding teenager Tate was another horror story entirely. At the time, he caused a veritable lust-filled storm but, not content to leave us all both traumatised and aroused just once, he’s starred in every season since. Here’s hoping we get his room key in the upcoming AHS: Hotel.
- Norman Reedus, all 5 series of The Walking Dead
Who needs a breadwinner when you’ve got a man who could catch a fresh squirrel for dinner every night? As the rugged and mysterious bow-wielding Daryl Dixon of AMC’s (once) stellar TV series The Walking Dead, Norman Reedus has managed to trap not only several rabbits, but also our hearts. He’s the bad boy with a soft gooey centre; the zombie apocalypse’s answer to Bear Grylls; with his steamy gaze and seemingly perpetual thin-layer of dirt, he’s about as clean and sexy as the average outdoorsmen gets.
Yet The Walking Dead wasn’t Reedus’ first flirtation with horror; this love affair began much earlier with roles in Guillermo del Toro’s Mimic (1997) and Blade II (2002). His most recent horror foray, the survival horror game Silent Hills, was tragically cancelled but we strongly believe that there will always be a place for him within the horror community. After all, when your television screen is plagued with scenes of hideous zombies, you need a little piece of man-candy to sweeten the deal.
- Bruce Campbell, The Evil Dead, Evil Dead II, Army of Darkness, and Ash vs. Evil Dead
Bruce Campbell is living proof that, like a fine wine, some things really do get better with age. While his debut as the torturously unibrowed Ash Williams in The Evil Dead was undoubtedly endearing in an awkward sort of way, he didn’t immediately register on the horror hottie scale. Since then he’s appeared in everything from Fargo to Spider-man, and has picked up a few tricks along the way. A winning smile; a cheeky wink; a silver fox swagger that only comes with years of experience. In short, in his 57 years, Bruce Campbell has gone from beautician’s worst nightmare to that friend’s dad who everyone secretly fancies.
And his sheer, unadulterated grooviness appears to have reached fever pitch in his reprisal as Ash Williams in TV series Ash vs. Evil Dead. With chainsaw in hand (in hand? on hand?) and his beloved catchphrase at the ready, Brucey is back and better than ever. He’s charismatic, he’s funny and, best of all, he can kick evil’s ass. Let’s just hope that, after all that demon slaying, they’ll still be enough of ol’ Bruce to go around.
So, what did you think of our list? Which horror hunks do you think we’ve missed out? And who do you think will feature in our Top 5 female horror hotties?